I.O.U. Or Do I?
This post is going to come across in a way that I don't want to be misunderstood. While my dad is the eternal optimist, I am forever and always the cynic. His happy-go-lucky schtick can be nauseating. Although he does have an amazing ability to want for nothing. I'd like to say I have the same outlook because I don't really need stuff, nor am I a really jealous person. The material things in life are not so important, basically.
But what is a girl to do when everyone else seems to be on the wrong page? Granted, it's much more likely it's her that's on the wrong page and the rest of the world is actually normal. For instance, I was at a wedding years ago and noted the bride was having a great time and seemed to be very happy (I was a friend of the groom). Someone next to me said, "I know, she is. And she totally deserves it." HUH? We are talking about a girl who has never not had a boyfriend, has been with her new husband for an eternity, had a huge, amazing party in celebration of them, and get to go on a vacation! Was her family too loving and happy? Was her job too good? Obviously we all have our crosses to bear, I am definitely not saying she didn't deserve to be happy, but have I become so jaded that I found the response a bit overstated?
When friends have a big life-changing event, I am truly very happy for them. I want all the best and a lifetime of laughter. In fact, just as my dad instilled in me, I am not jealous or upset it's not me. Well, maybe like, 5%…I am human! I don't want the bride's life, though. If or when the time comes for me I want friends to comment on how much happiness I earned to someone else, just as in the case I mentioned earlier. I find such joy in being happy for friends and family that have the luck of meeting someone great, getting married and starting a life together. So I must not be that jaded, right?
Yes, my friend deserves happiness--we all do. From the outside looking in things already seemed pretty peachy. It's easy to compare lives, but as my friend Amanda says, "if you compare yourself to others you will always lose." What chick doesn't think she deserves a wedding, i.e., in this case happiness? (By the way, I am not so delusional or old fashioned to think a wedding equals a lifetime of happiness.) "She deserves it," is true and not to be disputed out of respect, especially considering the odds of marriages lasting.
Hell, I deserve the right to be happy! So is it really awful to reserve the worth of happiness for others? I am not one who can decide who is worthy and who is not, but I can guarantee things don't always appear as they seem. It's highly likely the bride has had a struggle or two in her lifetime we don't know about, so yes, I am probably a pretty bad person for saying some of this stuff. But I reserve the right to say who really "deserves" lots of happiness!
Oh, and another thing that doesn't appear as it seems: when brides say, "Oh, I haven't found a dress, it's the hardest part." No, it really isn't. The hardest part is finding someone worthy of sharing your life with, someone who actually chooses to spend the rest of their life with you.
But what is a girl to do when everyone else seems to be on the wrong page? Granted, it's much more likely it's her that's on the wrong page and the rest of the world is actually normal. For instance, I was at a wedding years ago and noted the bride was having a great time and seemed to be very happy (I was a friend of the groom). Someone next to me said, "I know, she is. And she totally deserves it." HUH? We are talking about a girl who has never not had a boyfriend, has been with her new husband for an eternity, had a huge, amazing party in celebration of them, and get to go on a vacation! Was her family too loving and happy? Was her job too good? Obviously we all have our crosses to bear, I am definitely not saying she didn't deserve to be happy, but have I become so jaded that I found the response a bit overstated?
When friends have a big life-changing event, I am truly very happy for them. I want all the best and a lifetime of laughter. In fact, just as my dad instilled in me, I am not jealous or upset it's not me. Well, maybe like, 5%…I am human! I don't want the bride's life, though. If or when the time comes for me I want friends to comment on how much happiness I earned to someone else, just as in the case I mentioned earlier. I find such joy in being happy for friends and family that have the luck of meeting someone great, getting married and starting a life together. So I must not be that jaded, right?
Yes, my friend deserves happiness--we all do. From the outside looking in things already seemed pretty peachy. It's easy to compare lives, but as my friend Amanda says, "if you compare yourself to others you will always lose." What chick doesn't think she deserves a wedding, i.e., in this case happiness? (By the way, I am not so delusional or old fashioned to think a wedding equals a lifetime of happiness.) "She deserves it," is true and not to be disputed out of respect, especially considering the odds of marriages lasting.
Hell, I deserve the right to be happy! So is it really awful to reserve the worth of happiness for others? I am not one who can decide who is worthy and who is not, but I can guarantee things don't always appear as they seem. It's highly likely the bride has had a struggle or two in her lifetime we don't know about, so yes, I am probably a pretty bad person for saying some of this stuff. But I reserve the right to say who really "deserves" lots of happiness!
Oh, and another thing that doesn't appear as it seems: when brides say, "Oh, I haven't found a dress, it's the hardest part." No, it really isn't. The hardest part is finding someone worthy of sharing your life with, someone who actually chooses to spend the rest of their life with you.
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