Lame Gamer

I had no idea it would be so tricky to come up with ideas for posts.  Actually, I have tons of stories and thoughts, but writing about them or retelling them involve more focus and patience than I usually have or like.  Lately something has been on my mind, and when I really stopped to think about it I realized it was pretty funny and a little stupid.  Not to mention highly embarrassing.

There is a deep love in my heart for really geeky computer games.  For years I have been playing hidden object games, jigsaw puzzles and lots of word games.  Sadly, with the gift of an iPad for Christmas, these games are much more accessible.  Movie quizzes, Wheel of Fortune and Family Feud are generally helpful for falling asleep, and have shown me I know a lot more than I could have guessed.

About a month ago I found a free game on iTunes called "My Vampire Boyfriend."  I instantly knew it was stupid and silly, but I was very, very bored as I had already gone through a majority of free hidden object games.  So, the purpose of the "game" is to earn money in a career, get "successful" boyfriends and maintain an entourage.  There are three levels, each one a different city with a better job, better shopping and more entourage members.  They are all avatars that you can choose clothes for, but that's about the extent.  My character, I guess to be called "me," works and goes to the club to swap out friends and boyfriends for more points.  At the beginning I wasn't too caught up in the logistics or idea of the game and really focused on the clothes and getting a cute vampire boyfriend.  It's all actually pretty hilarious if it wasn't so stupid.

This is a shot of the game, though my avatar would never wear that ugly ass outfit.

 
I recently came across a selection of boyfriends of all different races.  I chose the white guy, even though he was worth less points and immediately became fearful of being a racist.  It started to eat away at me, "why didn't I choose the black guy?  The Asian guy?"  So, since then I have been purposely going for the non-white friends and boyfriends out of fear of having some unconscious race issue.

It took me a while, but then I figured out what the deal really is: beautiful people.  So, it turns out that I am not a bigot, but very vain.  In that shot of the game, I would never pick the blond guy because I do not like his hair.  The guy on the far right not only has gray hair, but he's also wearing a necklace that I would want in real life--that can't happen.  I love the middle guy's jacket and tie, so I would go for him.  It's impossible to describe what relief I felt in discovering I am not a closeted prejudiced person.  Whew.

Yesterday was Easter, and I spent the day with family while they talked about golf.  And watched golf.  And talked more golf.  I don't know jack about golf, nor do I really care.  I do know that it's most likely the secret to my parent's successful marriage, though.  While everyone was watching the swings, putts and shots I was checking out the clothes.  Phil Mickelson had on all beige, and my dad and uncle made a comment about not liking it that much.  I told them that they were wrong--tone on tone is huge this spring.  Bubba Watson (the ultimate winner of the tournament) was wearing all white and he looked crisp.  Even better, when he won the legendary green jacket, it didn't clash horribly.  But the best was probably Ian Poulter.  I have no clue where he landed on the scoreboard but he was one helluva well-dressed golfer.

Poulter is the golfer in the top right.

I chose this photo because these fans seem to be enjoying the day.  I honestly cannot think of anything more miserable: standing quietly in the sun watching golf among hundreds of other people.  

It's safe to say that Ian Poulter's likeness in "My Vampire Boyfriend" is one I would choose.