Two's Company

Three years ago this summer I moved into my brother's house and became his roommate.  It is safe to say that he was desperate for the rent income.  With absolutely zero help from my family I moved out of my spacious and private condo.  At the beginning it was almost fun because he was newly single and we sometimes had dinner together.  Plus, I absolutely love moving--not the physical part or all the packing, but the excitement of a new place.  All the "fun" lasted about a week.

Fortunately there is a very large storage area in his house, so my furniture, dishes and about everything I own went in there easily.  I just hadn't realized that all my things were going to be put away.  I do have a couch in the office downstairs, but that's about it.  The rest is in my room, kind of like a dorm.  I even have a tiny fridge.

It would be a lie to say I wasn't hoping to strengthen a relationship with my big brother or become somewhat closer.  We have always been polar opposites, but I'd lived with him for 14 years a long time ago, and this time I didn't have to share a bathroom.

Let me paint a better picture of polar opposites: he is 6'3", I am 5'4".  He is driven, focused and very ambitious whereas I tend to go with the flow and don't have a strong work ethic.  He is clean and tidy and a bit Type A.  I am not like that--I'm not a slob, but I certainly don't make my bed every morning.  I love sweets and he is more of a foodie.  I am sensitive, compassionate and even empathetic, but he is not.  I really don't think he is cold or completely insensitive, but he is not as open and loving as me.  Shaw plays his cards very close to his chest and tries to keep as much of his life private, even from my parents and me.  I, however, have a blog.

At first I had a really hard time living with him because I wanted us to be besties, hang out and talk more.  Plus, he has a seriously bad ass movie pass of which I don't reap the benefits of nearly enough.  But instead of such a daydream coming true I found myself coping with his behavior, habits and oftentimes things he said.  I came across a quote somewhere that was the best advice I have ever received: "deal with men as they are, not how you want them to be."  Not only did this apply to my brother, it applied to men everywhere!  What woman couldn't benefit from this profound thought?!  Things became a bit easier, or at least not so painful as before.  It was a form of radical acceptance--he is who he is and I cannot make him change.  A leopard cannot change its spots.  No, I don't have the ideal relationship with my brother but I think I understand him somewhat better because I have stopped trying to force one.  At least more often than not.

One thing that makes me nuts is his house.  There is so much I would love to do with the place, but neither of us can afford it, and I am around the place much more than he so it bothers me more.  The "courtyard" between the gate and front door is an eyesore.  There is lots of empty wall space.  Don't even get me started on my bathroom wallpaper.  It was while watching "Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis" that I became inspired of what could be!  Jeff and his assistant Jenni go into people's homes and fix issues that come between them personally.  As he says, "When there are problems with the space people live in, it can mean trouble with the relationship."  Watching the show I immediately became desperate to get his attention myself.  I have never heard of Mr. Lewis going anywhere outside of L.A. or California, but there is a LOT he could do here.  Especially if they are footing the bill!  I admit, Jeff Lewis can seem a bit intimidating and painfully honest, but I would welcome him with open arms.  If the opportunity arises to see an episode where he helps this guy Alex and his tolerant girlfriend Tiffany, tune in.  They were not married and lived in a home he inherited from his Aunt Guita.  The guy is a total wuss--he starts crying at the sight of old newspapers Guita had saved and then calls his mommy for help.  He also disregarded and ignored everything Tiffany said she liked for the home.  But by the end he was a completely different guy.  And he loved what Jeff had done.

This is Aunt Guita's original den.

This is Jeff's magical touch.

I've been a fan of Jeff Lewis' since he first showed up on Bravo four years ago.  I would die to hear what he would say and do with this (meaning mine) current living situation.  As much fun it could be to work on my relationship with my brother, how awesome to have spaces done by him?  The only area I would expect miracles is in the design.

I love my big brother..it's the law.  I'm teasing, but I really do love and admire him.  Also, I know I would not have done well with a sister, and my dad is more of a boy's dad.  Two girls would have been tricky.