Dog Days

There is a reason people love dogs--they provide unconditional love and support.  Doesn't matter if you're fat, stupid and ugly because your four-legged friend is at home waiting to greet you with love.  If I could, I would have more than one, but I don't have a yard or the kind of money needed with that responsibility.  So I continue to dog sit and consider others' dogs as my own in a way.

Look, no one loves a great dog more than me.  I've been taking care of a friend's lab, Moe, and he's the greatest.  He literally understands everything I say, and doesn't even need to be walked with a leash.  He's friendly but tame, a winning combination.

But the other day while I was walking him and his cousin, Gabby, a neighbor recognized us and went (pardon my French) apeshit.  She had her hands full of bags but put them all down to "say hello" to Moe.  She kept trying to get him to stop sniffing around and let her pet him.  Gabby, meanwhile, was kind of laying low and hanging out by my leg, but the woman eyed her and lost her cool again.  "Oh, she's beautiful!  What a beautiful girl!  Who is this?" on and on.  Turns out she knew Moe but didn't recognize Gabby.  When I explained that Gabby was on a leash because she doesn't really play well with others, the mood changed.  We started to walk away, but this woman just kept yapping.  She was now behind us commenting on the dog, "she's just so pretty."  I thought she was talking about my friend..."no, the dog.  she's just beautiful."  Look lady, I get it.  

When we turned the corner I was sure she was gone.  Nope.  Turns out we were about a block away from her house.  I had to listen to her go on and on about Moe and how he plays in her yard, how beautiful Gabby is, but what a shame she doesn't socialize like Moe.  Along the way we ran into some other neighbors walking their dog.  Gabby again stayed at my side while Moe greeted everyone enthusiastically.  Neighbor Lady says, "That's Gabby, Moe's cousin, but she doesn't do well with other dogs, so be careful." Great, let's put everyone on high alert for absolutely no reason!  I tried moving us along not only to prevent anything from happening between Gabby and the strangers, but because I was annoyed beyond belief.  Thank God we were at her house at this point.

This is a good example of doggie-lovin' overkill.

Here's my point: let's draw a line between our domesticated friends and ourselves.  Clearly Neighbor Lady had some animals of her own, but that was about it for her life.  There is a difference in loving your dog and being in love with your dog.  These kind of people are very easy to spot.  They generally don't have amazing hygiene, a dog is with them at all times, usually wearing some kind of bandana, and they can't help themselves whenever a dog crosses their path.  When I see a puppy or a dog and the situation feels alright, I pet it and strike up the shortest conversation ever with its owner.  For instance, "What's this guy's name?"  And that about does it.  The others I speak of are the ones who tell long-winded stories or ask weird questions about the dog's diet.

There are also dog lovers who take their little pooch with them wherever they go, no matter what.  I once met a woman who was walking her dog in a stroller with a shade to protect his eyes.  Britney Spears took a dog on a red carpet once...that's practically inhumane, what with all the flashing cameras and loud noises.  I don't think we've seen that dog again.

The poor guy looks like he's trying to jump off her boob!

Single women tend to carry a bad rap for having cats.  What about the women who wear terribly old sneakers and don't brush their hair with five dogs??  At least cats can be hidden in a pinch!  I've shoved a little guy into a closet when I lived in a no pet apartment and maintenance came by.

I love dogs.  I really and truly love them and want to take most of them home with me.  But I can't.  So I pet them and move on my way.  I don't feel the need to prove I love them by overstaying my welcome around people or their dogs.  Nor do I want others gushing over the ones I am with, whether I'm walking one or have one in the car.  You'd be surprised how many people try to ask about a dog while driving.