a silly little life

I was raised a pill popper.  My mom was no Judy Garland or Edie Falco from "Nurse Jackie."  She distributed the safe, legal stuff, like Benadryl and Advil.  Today, if you were to approach my dad, brother or mom, I guarantee they have a Pepto Bismol on them.  Just as the father in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" believed in Windex as a cure-all, we believe in Pepto.  It rocks. I am all for Eastern medicine and alternative therapies.  I believe that it's worth a try and there are methods that can and have worked.  However, I have seen the benefits of western medicine and even lived through them myself.  I admit, I asked my dad last week if he had any extra pain killers--because they are super awesome.  I've even overcome a strong addiction to Ambien.  But I still believe in drugs, the best of the West. Pretty. Think about a bad headache and how much better you felt after a couple Advil.  Or when you are sick with a terrible cold and ca...

Fashion is about as important to me as breathing.  Even if I don't follow all the trends myself, I love knowing what's "in," new fads and new designers.  For instance, orange is a popular color this spring, as are pastels, as I read in "People's StyleWatch."  I read "InStyle" religiously and check fashion blogs.  But here is something I have never learned: who are the people that make these decisions??? Does Anna Wintour make the fashion choices?  Dolce & Gabbana's runway show?  Michael Kors?  OK, so I get the whole idea behind following the fall and spring fashion shows and their trends.  But who told the designers what would be big?  Or, more importantly, are the fashion editors who tell us impressionable commoners what they personally like and hope it sticks?   Ten years ago ponchos were really popular.  But in a flash they were "out."  Slouchier boyfriend jeans were popular a few summers ago, but now it's all about ...

At the risk of offending anyone, being politically incorrect or even ignorant I write this.  Please try to think of this as Chelsea Handler's love for little people, or "nuggets" as she calls them.  I have nothing but a silly infatuation with a certain group of people in this world and I mean no harm.  Honestly, its funny because it is so random: I love fat black people.   Love them.  And don't even get me started on fat black kids.  I just want to walk in front of them and keep bad or mean people away.  If someone said something nasty, I would probably yell back profanities as if they had insulted my mother.  I just want to wrap up a big fat black man in a blanket and carry him everywhere. This affection came to me rather late in life, but I am only 30, so I don't know how much credit that holds.  Anyway, I was at a movie theater one crowded Sunday and saw a black man with an older black woman.  In my head I assumed they were mother ...

According to my research (which was not very extensive), we spend up to $55 billion a year on beauty products and cosmetics.  Doesn't that seem like a butt load of money, yet we still have to suffer through the time it takes for a blemish to heal. Most importantly, you should know that this is a very difficult thing for me to write about--I hate all words dealing with blemishes, I can't ever talk about them with friends and I will never understand how aestheticians do what they do.  My friend Kaitlin came up with a special code when speaking of such monstrosities with me: facial eruptions.  Let me tell you, it helps.  It's odd because I can watch open heart surgery or a limb being cut off, but I cannot say the word "zit" or "pimple" without cringing.  You know how your friends say, "Ah, look at this!" and want to talk about it? I am not that kind of friend.  I'll be the first to tell you about food in your teeth, but I cannot discuss some...

My mind never stops running, and I tend to over think almost everything.  I was thinking about people, daily habits and ironies that keep life interesting.  So, while getting my hair done today, my hairdresser and I came up with a few more thoughts (thanks Stephanie!).  These do not apply to people I necessarily know, but some can easily be applied to my life. Have you Ever Noticed?: …celebrities and the wealthy are given cool free stuff... …the guy at the gas station barely speaks English and is clearly not from America, but can give precise directions... …the more money some friends have, the more they bitch about it.  And can even be cheap sometimes… ...when a couple decides to "take a break," neither party knows what it means… …using words like "always" and "never,"  met with a "really? Always?" and they know what you mean (especially frustrating when disagreeing with a partner)... …children don't squeeze during a handshake b...

This post is going to come across in a way that I don't want to be misunderstood.  While my dad is the eternal optimist, I am forever and always the cynic.  His happy-go-lucky schtick can be nauseating.  Although he does have an amazing ability to want for nothing.  I'd like to say I have the same outlook because I don't really need stuff, nor am I a really jealous person.  The material things in life are not so important, basically. But what is a girl to do when everyone else seems to be on the wrong page?  Granted, it's much more likely it's her that's on the wrong page and the rest of the world is actually normal.  For instance, I was at a wedding years ago and noted the bride was having a great time and seemed to be very happy (I was a friend of the groom).  Someone next to me said, "I know, she is.  And she totally deserves it."  HUH?  We are talking about a girl who has never not had a boyfriend, has been with her new husban...

Anyone who happened to see the other night's episode of Two Broke Girls can understand what I found so funny: two girls take a vacation, so to speak, while dog and house sitting for some friends.  I instantly related, as I tend to look at upcoming jobs as little "breaks" or "vacations," considering on the house and job.  I died laughing when part of the instructions left for the girls was to express one of the dog's anal glands--it turned out to be meant as a joke.  When the owners came back one of them said, "who asks someone to do that to their dog??!"  Let me tell you: I know those people.  I have watched a dog so ancient that I had to squeeze his back half to get help get his bowels out, and I did not get paid extra. I have many stories of my adventures with dogs, sometimes the same dog with several issues.  But today I'll tell you about my experience with a nosy neighbor and a humongous dog. Huldy, a rhodesian ridgeback was just a coup...

I have a cat.  I have a cat.  I say it twice because I have two of them but fear the stigma of a single lady with cats .  I am an animal lover, so it's not a surprise I would have pets.  Sadly, I do not have a dog for many reasons, most importantly that I take care of other people's dogs. In college I lived with two girls who quit talking to each other, and my room was literally in the middle.  It was a sticky and awkward situation, so my boyfriend at the time bought me a cat.  I knew we were meant to be together when I took him to my grandmother's house that night.  He followed me through the courtyard,  then later went to the bathroom on the food from the animal shelter because there wasn't a litter box.  He looked just like one I had but recently lost.  I went to a therapist years and years ago who suggested I get a pet, and once I did I saw what she meant.  Pets love us no matter what, they are always happy to see us and they ...

I have been frustrated all week because I really wasn't crazy about my last couple of blogs.  So thanks for reading and being patient! I am a night owl.  I can literally stay up all night long and I love it.  But, it's frustrating when I am truly tired and can't fall asleep.  I try reading, but I either get so into the book I don't want to sleep, or it doesn't do anything.  Television can sometimes help, though I feel it can cause more damage by stimulation.  Benadryl, Alteril, anti-anxiety pills and NyQuil are now literally flowing in my veins…if I had to type my blood, it would be a BACNQ or something.  Opera usually helps, I can fall asleep right there during a show.  But at home, it's not a sure thing. A few years ago I was using the TV method and came across Nick at Nite.  I can't remember what was on, but something decent enough to stop surfing.  A huge part of why I stopped was because there was an immediate nostalgia from my...

This blog title can be confused with a country song, I am sure.  I saw "Speed" on television and remembered going to the theater and seeing it, a little shocked Keanu Reeves was actually handsome all that time, he just needed a haircut. Here's the thing: I love me a good action movie.  The bloodier the better, as well as huge explosions and car chases.  In fact, "Die Hard" is my absolute favorite.  "Speed" is in my top five.  I also love movies with drama and suspense that make you think, such as "The Departed" and "Se7en," but give me "X-Men" or "Avengers" any day.  Summer blockbusters are like presents spread out over May, June and July. Maybe it's the actors, maybe it's the character, I don't know.  But John McClane, Jack Travern and Willy Beachum are my go-to good guys on the right side of the law.  Bruce Willis as John McClane is a major snag in a terrorist's plot, using experience ...

I have many, many thoughts on fashion.  I follow new trends, read fashion magazines and blogs religiously.  I've worked retail and loved every second of it.  I like to think I have great taste and decent fashion, because I choose to believe people when they compliment me on something I'm wearing. I have a friend, Alexis, who says that every time she sees me she wants to change into what I'm wearing, which I find hilariously flattering and endearing.  Talk about a major ego boost!  I am not anywhere near a size 4 and my clothes are nothing more than different pieces found different places.  I follow two easy methods: comfort and confidence.  When a woman feels great she inevitably looks great, too.  One hint I've learned is to avoid looking in the mirror when I feel or imagine I look amazing.  It's amazing what the subconscious can do.  Of course, that kind of hits the fan if or when pictures are taken. When I was 12 years old, 90s fa...

Over the years, one by one my friends seem to be pairing up and getting hitched.  The first close friend's wedding I went to seven years ago, and they are still happily married.  I also know a couple people who have already been through a divorce.  It's such a gamble, I've learned.  Growing up I believed there was one single person out there for each of us and that if we were lucky we could find them.  I had no doubt I would one day be a Mrs. to my soul mate.  After some heartache and growing I came to realize that's not so much the case anymore. Maybe I had these romantic notions because of my imagination, but more likely my family.  My folks have been happily married for 37 years and still hold hands.  They are a great example of a marriage to me: they have been through both sad and happy times and stuck by each other.  I do not pretend to believe that they have been blissful years, because I know better.  The trick seems to be enjoy...

Crazy day. Things started seemingly fine and normal, until I left the house.  Sophie, one of my sweet little pups needed a serious grooming session.  So, per request I took the little white fur ball to the pet salon.  The very second I opened the shop door she must have realized where we were because she took off like a rocket.  Like I said, she's tiny and I've honestly never seen her run, but I have never seen anything like this.  She was running full throttle down a major busy street like some kind of golf ball or something.  *I started to chase her and was yelling her name in a horrible voice I did not recognize. *Note: I don't like running, nor am I any good at it.  I really wish I did.  I've never been fast and have always been so insecure about how I look.  What am I supposed to do with my hands?  Make a fist, flap them like a bird?  Don't get me started on becoming more than 100% aware of all the wiggling and jiggling. ...

Just a quick thank you for all who have been reading and clicking! Yesterday a reader told me she not only enjoyed the blog, but found a birthday gift in an ad. I love feedback and comments, and really appreciate all of you reading. Look for a future jewelry giveaway! Lots more to come. xoxox

My upbringing was pretty faith-based.  I went to religious private schools from Kindergarten through high school, and then ended up in the Baptist capital of the world at Baylor in Waco, Texas (where I met many party animals and saw crazy stuff in a place supposedly known for being very religious).  My mom was raised a southern Baptist, the kind that doesn't do anything on Sunday but go to church.  Ironically, her first smoke and drink were at Baylor University.  When she met and married my dad she moved over to his Episcopalian sect, and they go to the same church my dad did growing up, and it's really a better fit for her in my opinion.  I spent Sundays in the church and in Sunday School.  I can honestly say, without a single doubt in my mind that I never heard one sermon in its entirety.  I either got distracted or lost interest.  I became an acolyte in order to skip that stuff and hang out with other kids my age and talk.  But I doubt tha...

I've received great feedback so far, thanks so much for reading!  And "Unknown" even commented on a post…love it! As a dogsitter, I come into contact with a lot of housekeepers, and I have learned a certain "code" between the different helpers around the home.  For instance, I have been staying at a lovely place, where a housekeeper comes 5 days a week…I imagine when the kids were younger, they needed her that much.  Anyway, she comes in about an hour late, leaves very early sometimes, and watches lots of TV.  Oh, and she ate the last bagel.  But she's a great lady and has been in the family forever.  Our boss, the lady of the house, even makes jokes and knows Quita's habits. Another time, a few years ago, I was taking care of two sweet pups in a really, really fine house.  State of the art stuff: a painting on the wall could flip around and become the TV, the kitchen had like three different sinks and refrigerators and washers and ovens.  The...

I apologize to my loyal readers (Mom) for not posting in a while. Last week I got a new cell phone, which is the best feeling.  With my cell plan I get an upgrade every 18 months, which honestly felt like 18 years!  A phone that is normally over $600 though, I got for $125, so it definitely "pays" to wait.  I had a countdown application on my old phone counting down the last six weeks, and bought a really cool case the week before.  To say I was excited is mild. So why, a few hours after having it, did I ignore a call? We spend exorbitant amounts of money for the latest and greatest in phones, computers, TVs and more.  So why do I feel like whenever I call someone, they "ignore" or send it straight to voicemail?  I was immediately irritated with myself and called right back, though I knew why she was calling and what my answer would be.  By not communicating, do we think we actually are communicating? I am just as guilty.  Talking on a cel...