a silly little life

 I mentioned I got married. Well just to emphasize the name of this blog, I am sharing the silly little existence that is me. It didn't work out for us. We tried. But 3 1/2 years later and my little family is no mas.  It's heartbreaking. It's confusing. Painful, a little embarrassing and worst of all, its HARD. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would get divorced. Get this: not one person on my dad's side of the family has ever been divorced. Well, one couple--but they GOT BACK TOGETHER!   So I find myself in this predicament of feeling like a failure. But truthfully, I can look back and know that I really, really tried to make it work. I am sure he did, too, but we have different backgrounds, different love languages and the worst: different senses of humor. Killer. Things are as amicable as can be, but we do have the occasional heated argument about having had really heated arguments! He is taking five ever to move out, so I am painfully and slowly watching the...

It's been about 3 years since I wrote on this.  Whoops.  Have since gotten a few different jobs, bought a home, gotten married and become a stepmom.  That's for another post. Tonight has made me chuckle quite a bit to myself, but I have the tendency to crack myself up.  Truth be told: I have fairly bad gas.  Not something I'm relishing in making public, but it happens to everyone.  So, anyway--back to my story. I am a "newlywed", which I only put quotations around simply because it seems like a term for younger couples, not us.  Whatever.  We have a fireplace and the very   second the temperature drops below 70 we are searching for firewood.  In fact, we probably should have gotten married in the winter so people would have been able to give us firewood as a wedding gift. As a kid I was a little tiny bit of a pyro.  Can anyone honestly say they were not? So, growing up and having a fireplace that is purely natural is like a...

For the 3 people out there that actually read this (thank you by the way), yes, it's been quite a while since I posted.  And a lot's happened...and really not that much has changed. My big brother got married, family members had babies...yada, yada.  This blog is about me and my perspective on my ridiculous life, so that's what I am going to write about. So, I've dipped my toe--actually, it's up to my calf--in the dating pool.  It's brutal.  It's gruesome, not for the feint of heart or thin-skinned.  There is absolutely no shortage of freaks, stupidity or heartbreak.  I should know, I have been in love 7.4 times since October. I've learned that sadly, the worst thing a guy can give a single girl is hope.  A promise.  I've learned that opening car doors, paying the check and an amazing good night kiss don't amount to anything if he doesn't text back.  Karma is surely out there and so is my phone number, unfortunately!  I've been hum...

I've been so hesitant to get out in the dating world.  Either I was too insecure, couldn't keep up with the games involved or just never met anyone who inspired those kinds of feelings.  But it really has been so long since I've even had a date that I became concerned people had started to question my sexuality (not that there's anything wrong with that!).  I've done Match.com and met only jerks.  I tried Zoosk (please don't ask why, I guess the commercial got me) and was totally creeped out by those guys.  And I had a hard time kinda figuring out the app. My friend CeCe had been on Tinder and was having fun flirting, even met a couple guys.  So I thought I would get my toes wet and try it out.  After a few days a seemingly cute guy named Mike started chatting me up.  We hit it off pretty quickly--smart and a great sense of humor.  Best part was he seemed to pick up on my sarcasm which is not something I have an easy time with.  Plus, ...

Yes, it's been forever and a day since I actually even visited this blog.  But thanks to a recent email, inspiration hit. The way things work out in life are funny.  Sometimes hilarious, other times odd and extremely painful.  What really amazes me is the way relationships can change in an instant.  We can go from best buds to mortal enemies within the blink of an eye.  Once quid pro quo becomes insufficient one of us is out the door. I see girls go from loving me to hating me in my job.  I work with brides, and while we can form an instant connection when she buys a dress it can turn downright ugly if something goes wrong.  Adoring "thank yous" become spiteful words and hysterical dramatics.  It's understandable, considering that I'm in the business of "it better be perfect."  But it's always a shame to see what was a happy and thrilling moment go to shit.  Not that it happens all the time!  Otherwise our store would no longer ...

I find most ironies in life pretty amusing.  In fact, they add a little spice to an otherwise bland existence.  For instance, "if I don't get insurance on my new iPhone then something bad will happen.  But if I don't get insurance, it's a waste of money because nothing will happen."  You can deduct the result of my cheap reasoning: nine months and over $800 later I had the newest iPhone 5. So, at the first of every month I get excited for my paycheck, and excited if I can pay my rent with a little left to pay my credit or cable bill.  Since I am on commission, I never exactly know what amount will be sent my way.  Due to the very large and unexpected expense in December I was thrilled to be able to cover my rent at the first of January.  It looked like there was going to be some "play" money left, so I thought I would treat myself to a little treat: Lauren Bush's Ubiquitous "FEED" bag profits go to hungry children in 3rd world countri...

It's that time again.  The one that only comes every four years and we cannot help but become mesmerized and addicted.  The 2012 Olympics in London.  Honestly, I tuned in for the Opening Ceremonies because I missed the "incredible" Beijing show.  You would think I had learned from the 2012 Winter Olympics it's not a good idea.  I fell asleep as one of the "B" countries was parading in. I've kept my eyes on the games because I wanted to see Michael Phelps break the medal record, for the gymnastics (even though the men's makes me a little uncomfortable) and even some beach volleyball.  The trouble is that I get so wound up and excited that I cannot fall asleep!  Last night's women's gymnastics and men's relay was heart-pounding and nail-biting.  I found myself crying when the USA won a gold in gymnastics.  Then I thought: "why am I crying?  I didn't do anything.  They worked really hard and earned the medal."  Seriously, I a...

Oftentimes when I am in a situation where my name is to be shouted out, I just use the nickname "Mac."  No, it's not an actual nickname of mine, nor is it a very girly moniker.  But it's quick, easy to say and easy to understand.  Surprisingly, "Shannon" is tricky for most. When I lived in Spain, my name in the household was "rubia" because my señora could not say "Shannon."  It became my name in public, too.  At a Starbucks I noticed my amigos were giving themselves pet names as well.  Aubin went by "Sarah" and Amanda went by "Maria" because otherwise we didn't know our drink was ready.  I preferred the quizzical smirks from the Spanish baristas than my drink turning cold. Fortunately most of Starbucks language is universal A while ago I used "Mac" when I was with friends.  One got quite a chuckle out of it.  And I guess I get that--it's not something normally used or heard.  But you know,...

There is a reason people love dogs--they provide unconditional love and support.  Doesn't matter if you're fat, stupid and ugly because your four-legged friend is at home waiting to greet you with love.  If I could, I would have more than one, but I don't have a yard or the kind of money needed with that responsibility.  So I continue to dog sit and consider others' dogs as my own in a way. Look, no one loves a great dog more than me.  I've been taking care of a friend's lab, Moe, and he's the greatest.  He literally understands everything I say, and doesn't even need to be walked with a leash.  He's friendly but tame, a winning combination. But the other day while I was walking him and his cousin, Gabby, a neighbor recognized us and went (pardon my French) apeshit.  She had her hands full of bags but put them all down to "say hello" to Moe.  She kept trying to get him to stop sniffing around and let her pet him.  Gabby, meanwhile, ...

I have been a terrible blog host by not writing for quite some time.  But, all the time spent away has only created more adventures and hijinks to write about! Today marks two full weeks of dog sitting.  Lots of dog sitting!  More business just kept coming, and I am not one to turn it away, especially considering that I was free all day.  Which was no longer the case after the first day of the first job.  I literally found a job that is not off the internet and not some scam.  An old friend owns a bridal shop and she needed help--immediately.  As it turns out, Fortunata, her only consultant, was not so fortunate  as her namesake would have you believe.  She was hit by a car and seriously injured.  When Emma reached out about filling in, I was ecstatic.  While I can forgo any type of big wedding of my own, I found such a job to be ironic for me.  But it turns out that it's even better than any kind of retail: there is very li...

This is what stinks the most about growing up: it's nothing like the movies…at least in my experience, and quite a lot of people I know.  There is no cool apartment, at least certainly not within a reasonable price range.  Amazing clothes and makeup don't just appear, we have to max out our credit cards instead.  Hot guys don't necessarily approach us, or they aren't interested if you're actually yourself.  The best friend is rarely that loyal or constant in the real world, and our endings are not always so happy. Clearly has been my philosophy from the start. It's fairly reasonable to conclude that I believed all this stuff could actually happen.  One thing I have noticed over the years is a common phrase, "this is a tough age."  Since I was 12 years old I've been told this piece of wisdom from my elders.  Over 18 years I've been told that each is "a tough age or time."  Whether it's hard because you're being picked on...

Unless you've been completely selfish, you know that yesterday was Mother's Day.  I was excited as Christmas to give my mom her loot.  I got everything weeks beforehand, and I am the worst at keeping gifts away from recipients.  My favorite was a personalized iPhone case because she just got an iPhone.  I also had some cookies arranged like flowers delivered to her.  Sadly, all my dad gets for Father's Day is a couple books, but as long as its wrapped and he can tear the paper he's pretty satisfied. This post is to show off my own mom.  You'd better pay attention because you might be jealous that she's so great.  I'm not even biased--everyone loves her and tell me all the time.  She's inviting, funny, comforting and loyal to a fault.  She's always been a "cool" mom, too.  Not only is she beautiful, but she is the example of patience and love.  I can say all of this matter-of-factly because she has been through almost everything, ...

Remember I mentioned getting a job?  I did, and today was supposed to be a payday.  A big one, in fact.  I went ahead and imagined my financial life would provide me with some things I need, such as a place to live, food to eat and liquor.  But two days ago I tried to access my "employee account" through the job's website and had no luck.  I kept trying all day.  I called every single number listed and emailed every single address I could possibly find.  Now you know what I've been up to for the past three days. I was scammed.  I fell for the whole thing, hook, line and sinker: the pay was good, it offered benefits and a lax schedule.  I clearly did not heed the advice of "if it's too good to be true, then it is."  I wanted to believe that sometimes you get a break.  I also thought it would be a nice change to see the positive in someone or something, but most of all I wanted to prove everyone wrong.  Now I am using my soul a...

Growing up we were obligated to have dinner as a family at the table.  No TV, no books, no phone.  This was before DVR and cell phones, so it might sound "worse" today than it actually was, but looking back I think my dad had the right idea.  It was really his rule and made no sense to me whatsoever.  It definitely did later in life. In college (at the first one I went to) I took a Health and Humanities class that discussed the family dynamic for a period.  In it I learned that, statistically, kids are less likely to become addicted to drugs, lie to their parents, get pregnant, etc., and in turn can develop a strong bond with their folks and/or family.  Two years before when my parents would ask about my day during dinner and they turned into actual conversations (just not when I was sparring with my dad).  Because of those dinners a line of communication and trust was formed.  It was in that class that I realized how powerful a meatloaf can bec...

It's been a while since I've written anything.  Part of it is because the format of my blog's host changed and I had a difficult time figuring out how to work it!  Turns out I just needed to sign in.  Go figure. Since my last posts I have been quite busy: I got myself a nice black eye, my friend had an adorable baby girl, I've gotten a job, was sick for a bit and went back to therapy.  Not that I had given up on the whole thing, but I've been doing it for a while and just needed a break.  It's exhausting, not to mention how tired you can become with yourself.  Part of the reason I went back was because my family has been driving me bonkers.  But the good news is that my therapist said I am probably winning that fight, I'm likely driving them just as nuts, if not more. The shiner came from a day of much needed and well appreciated margaritas and cosmopolitans.  When I need it, I don't mess around!  My good friend Alexis and I spent a beaut...

There are a few causes very important to me, one is bullying. Because I was bullied. Today's bullying is different from when I was younger because of all the technology available.  I was not threatened or physically beaten, but people said mean things and picked on me because I was overweight and sensitive, making for an easy target.  Part of me now worries that using the term "bullied" isn't right in my case, but it feels like it.  If Facebook had been around when I was 12 or 13 I might not have made it to high school.   Everything made me cry because I was super sensitive.  Looking back I can't help to think I was a huge killjoy.  But who isn't insecure then?  I remember in 6th grade a boy, John, used to call me fat and ugly all the time.  He even told me that other boys talked about me and how gross I was all the time.  In specific detail.  I can still remember hearing him on the phone and just crying.  I quickly drew...

With all due respect, the men in my life are stupid.  They are complete idiots.  It's not something they can control, either, which makes it good and bad--good because they don't mean to harm, bad because they don't know they are being hurtful. I am a big reader and I love it.  But a few months ago my dad said something that was so hurtful it ruined my entire weekend.  Yes, he knows I have always been an avid reader, but when he "apologized" he tried to explain why he said it: he thought that I had read some book-- The Indian Chief , the Red Indian , I honestly can't remember.  He was quoting a line from the book in response to something I had said.  That's a gamble no man should take, assuming I'd read some book I'd never heard of. An apology from a man in my family is like no other experience, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!  "I'M SORRY!  I'M SORRY, OKAY?"  They kinda yell it with a very frustrated tone.  Here's t...